Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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