she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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