Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
