My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
love makes seman taste better
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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