You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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