East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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