he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
