I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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