Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
