I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
