i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
