I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
