mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
