so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she peed on how many people?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
