i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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