It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize