he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
