I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
