a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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