ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
