why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
