I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
