Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
