did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize