I must be too annoying 4 u.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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