do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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