They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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