dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
