Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
