Moan for me like Helen Keller
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
