Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
