quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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