Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So here I am, sexting at work.
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