dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
