I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
