STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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