oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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