he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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