it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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