can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize