Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
