every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
