Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
