Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
