i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
