Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize