people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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