Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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