So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize