That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
