Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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