Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
