are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
