I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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