Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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