ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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