Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
