hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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