I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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