I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
