And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think i have two assholes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
