im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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