I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
