im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
