I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
