I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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