note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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