what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
