i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
