And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
