Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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