hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize