what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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