Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
