I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
