So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
