That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize