Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
